


Facets

by horatiofrog



Category: 13 Reasons Why (TV)
Genre: Gen, and if so how?, can people truly change?, effects of personality, many discussions, mental health
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-23
Updated: 2019-09-23
Packaged: 2020-10-26 13:51:23
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,118
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20743253
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/horatiofrog/pseuds/horatiofrog
Summary: Clay has several conversations about Bryce Walker in order to figure out both himself and his late enemy.  The results are...surprising, to say the least.





	Facets

“You’re still angry.”

“Yes!” Clay’s gaze shifted toward the end of the battered leather couch. “No. The fuck?”

A deep sigh exhaled in front of him. “You don’t even know how angry you are, do you?” Dr. Ellman scribbled something down onto the ever-present legal pad he kept in his lap during these sessions, and the action irritated Clay to no end. He’d tried once to casually glance at the scribblings, only to find the therapist’s scrawl so illegible that it would have taken a miracle to decipher it.

“I mean, what’s to be angry about? Bryce raped Hannah. He admitted it. She’s dead, he’s dead.” Clay threw up a hand in frustration. “It all washes away, doesn’t it?”

“I think you know that’s not quite true.”

Clay sighed. “Then why am I answering these questions? I mean, you seem to know the answers already…”

Dr. Ellman shook his head. “I don’t know all the answers. But I know you. The question is, do you know yourself?”

“I’d like to think so, but…apparently not?” The last bit held a note of derision to it.

“I think you know parts of yourself. You see, people are like…like diamonds.”

“What – precious and rare?” Clay snarked.

“No. They have facets. I think once you study yours, and those of say, your friends? Maybe Bryce Walker? I think you’ll find things aren’t as…simple as you would like them to be.” A pencil made contact with the legal pad again, and the scratching of graphite over wood pulp rang in Clay’s ears. “If nothing else, try talking to them. I think you’ll find some fascinating insights about yourself and about those around you.”

_I already know a_ lot_ of fascinating things about my friends, thanks,_ Clay thought. 

“Same time next week?”

A shrug. “Sure.”

“Oh, and I’m interested to hear what you find out.” At the teenager’s puzzled glance, Dr. Ellman clarified, “about yourself. And your friends.”

* * *

“Clay, you have been in a pissy-ass mood since you got home from the shrink. I mean, what the fuck?” Justin said, pulling on his night clothes. His hands shook a little, and there was a little bit of a twitch in his jaw. Clay knew it was a part of the withdrawal process, and was glad to see that Justin was keeping it under control. 

“It was just a bad day.”

“Dude, I’ve seen your ‘bad days.’” Justin flopped onto his bed. “Hell, I’ve seen you when you think you can take on a fucking giant and win.”

“So?” Clay’s eyebrows crinkled in confusion.

“So what’s really going on?”

“Nothing, okay?”

“Bullshit. Look, I know you’re not gonna tell the shrink, but…” Justin’s head wobbled a little. “…you do know you can talk to me, right?”

Clay bit his lip. “I know.” He heaved a sigh as he pulled back the covers. “I guess…I was thinking about Bryce Walker.”

“Why?”

“I dunno, it was…” Fingers splayed out in a _well-here-you-go _motion. “Something Ani said, I guess.”

“What about it? I mean, everything’s okay with you two, right?”

“I don’t know. I think so?” Clay shrugged, and Justin edged closer to the edge of his bed. “We got into an argument, on how people can change, and I said that some people don’t, not really, and she said that Bryce had been, y’know, before, and…”

“Oh. Shit.”

“Yeah.” Clay sighed. “And I was thinking about it, and it came up in therapy, and then Dr. Ellman started talking about diamonds, and it got weird. Told me to talk to everyone, find out more about myself.” He scoffed. “Like I don’t know who I am, thanks for asking.”

Silence reigned as Justin’s chewed his lip. “What?” Clay demanded. 

“Well, I mean…” Justin shrugged. “Look at me.”

“Okay, yeah, but…that’s different.”

“What?!” Justin leapt to his feet. “How is it different? Jesus Christ, Clay, I mean…I’ve done, like way worse things in my life to fuck it up.”

“Oh, worse than rape?” Clay challenged, throwing back the covers. “Did you actually go in and knowingly _assault _and _violate_ girls without their consent?”

Justin turned towards the kitchenette, shaking his head. “Fuck, no! I mean, I never…”

“Did you go and _murder_ someone?”

“Clay…”

The elder Jensen child started to pace, the scowl on his face deepening with each step. “I’m just…it’s like she keeps trying to, I dunno, _absolve_ Bryce, or something! Like because he was decent to her, we must all be making up the horrible things he did!”

Justin spun on his heel, stopping Clay’s pacing. “Yeah, Clay, Bryce did horrible things. Like, fucked up horrible things. To, to me, and to Jess, and Hannah, and Alex and Zach and to you…”

“See? Thank you. I’m not crazy.”

“But I wasn’t done.” Justin sighed. “I mean, you know he helped me out with Seth last summer, right?”

Clay swallowed thickly. “Yeah. You told me.”

“It’s just…” Justin’s head tilted towards the ceiling, his arms outstretched, as though he could conjure up an answer out of thin air. “You know about my mom. Amber, I mean.”

“Yeah.”

“You saw what our place was like, when you came that one time…”

“…to get my bike. I remember.” Clay did. The battered furniture, the filth, the squalor that was barely controlled. He remembered a Justin who was desperate to continue a lie so he could keep the few things he still had; so desperate, in fact, he’d later admitted to plotting Clay’s own murder to keep him from finding out the truth. “You wanted to kill me, to shut me up. At least, that’s what you said.”

“Yeah, I did.” Justin fell onto his mattress, deflated. “Clay, don’t you think I’ve changed?”

“Obviously, you have. And for the better. I mean, you’re not being an asshole to people anymore. And I don’t think you’re still planning to kill me…” A small half-smile crept over Clay’s face, and Justin began to smile himself.

“No, dumbass. But the thing you have to understand, the thing I think maybe you _can’t_ understand, is that the only person who saw me as more than the…” Justin shrugged. “…the junkie’s kid was Bryce. When…when you’re all alone, having that _one_ person sometimes makes all the difference.”

“But Bryce was an asshole.”

Justin let slip a mirthless chuckle. “Yeah, he was. I didn’t know that then. I saw a person who wanted to be around me. I saw food I could eat, a place to sleep when it got bad at Amber’s. I saw someone taking _care_ of me, which is everything when no one’s really ever done that for you before.”

Clay shook his head. “He wasn’t taking care of you. He was buying you off. So he could be an asshole and a rapist.”

Long bony hands threw up in exasperation. “Oh my fucking God, you have some _serious_ tunnel vision, you know that, Clay?”

“Well, tell me it’s not true. That Bryce was, in fact, just being generous or whatever.” Clay sat down on his bed, hands folded, expecting an answer.

Justin sighed. “It’s…it’s not that simple. Just like _I’m_ not that simple.” Blue eyes cast around the room, choosing to focus on the artwork adorning Clay’s wall. “You were there, during that assembly a couple months ago?”

“You know I was. Pretty hard to forget me being hauled off in handcuffs, being read my rights.”

“You saw me then? When I stood up?”

Clay nodded. “I wondered. But I figured you’d tell me, when you were ready.”

Justin sighed, and swallowed hard. “You know Amber had boyfriends. Like, constantly.”

“Yeah. You’ve said.”

“Well, there was this one…he only was around a couple of years, when I was about five. Amber and him, they’d get fucked up, and once she’d pass out, he came into my bed.”

Clay was sure his face was telling Justin how fucked up that was. “I’m sorry, Justin, I’m not…I just…”

“I know, I know.” Then Justin continued. “At first, he just…started touching me. Then he started making me put my hands on…” He sighed. “And…he was hard.”

“Jesus, Justin…”

“Eventually he started putting his fingers in my mouth…and then he would jerk off.” A tear rolled down an angular face. He took a deep breath. “He was gone for good when I was around seven. And he was off and on while he was with Amber, so…”

Clay stood up, walked over to his brother’s bed, sat down, and pulled Justin into a hug. He could feel his shirt sleeve getting damper as quiet sobs filled the room. “Oh, my God, Justin. I’m…I’m so sorry.” A tear rolled down Clay’s cheek as well. 

Justin sniffled, then sat up, wiping a tear from his eye. He took a deep breath. “Amber never really gave a shit about me, Clay. And…and I’m not talking about just didn’t care. I mean, I’d go without food because she’d spend all our money to get high. Her boyfriends beat the shit out of me, and I’d have to drag my own ass into an ER to get bones set. By the time we hit Liberty, Bryce was _literally_ the only thing close to a family that I had. And…and I was so _desperate_ to hold onto that that…well…”

“But, still…I mean, I would guess that being on the streets changed you? Somehow?”

Justin shook his head. “I mean, it did, but…it’s not a thing I can talk about right now.”

“Okay. Okay, I get that.” Clay nodded. “But Bryce didn’t have that. That…I dunno…that kind of experience.”

Justin scoffed a little. “Clay, do you know what being tagged as a rapist does to a person?”

“I never saw it affect Bryce.”

Justin shook his head. “Yeah, but only because he hid it well. I mean, it’s hard, to have to admit to yourself what you’ve done to fuck things up.”

“He admitted it in court, with Jess. He admitted it to me, about Hannah.”

“You ever _really_ listened to that tape, Clay? I mean, yeah, he pretty much admits it, but he never _says_ he raped her. Not then. Makes me wish I could get a copy, just to show you the difference.”

“I think Tony still has copies. Maybe I’ll get one from him.” Clay thought it might be a good idea. He had been so proud, then, of getting the asshole to confess. Had he missed something? Did he _not_ admit it then?

“Maybe that’s a good idea.”

Clay turned towards Justin. “But you still haven’t explained. I mean, you changed. I realize now you had a lot of shit going on before Hannah’s thing…I mean, _a lot_ of shit. But you aren’t that asshole anymore.”

Justin sighed. “That’s the thing. I mean, I was an asshole, but was I an asshole because Bryce was? Was I something I wasn’t then, in order to keep the one good thing I thought I had going for me in my life? And in the end, he still reached out to help me, with Seth, y’know? I mean, he didn’t _have_ to do that.” Justin bit his lip. “Was he trying to buy me off again? Or did he really care?” He shrugged. “I guess now I’ll never know.”

Clay sighed. “I guess not.”

“Didn’t help your thing at all, did I?”

“No. But you did give me something to think about.”

* * *

“Hey, Tyler?”

The lithe photographer looked up from his editing table. “Oh, hey, Clay. What’s up? Time to go?”

“Um, no. Not yet.” Clay sat down at one of the tall chairs across from his friend. “I, um…I was wondering if I could ask you a question…about Bryce.”

Clay noticed the surprise in Tyler’s expression. “Oh. Um, okay, I guess?” 

“I mean, it’s…” The elder boy shrugged. Though Tyler looked much younger, there was only about a month’s difference in age between him and Clay. “I dunno. I guess I was curious…why did he help you? I mean, with Monty?”

“Oh.” Tyler swallowed hard. “I told you. At first, I thought…I thought Bryce had put Monty up to it.”

“And you confronted him. I remember. But still…”

Long fingers twitched over the photos stacked neatly in front of their creator. Tyler studied them intensely. He took a deep breath. “Well, Bryce wanted to know _why_ I’d…well, you know. With the gun and all.” Clay nodded, silently waiting for his friend to continue. “I hadn’t actually told him, about what Monty did, ‘cause I thought he knew, already.”

“You thought Bryce had told him to attack you.”

Tyler nodded. “And…and I didn’t wanna tell him, not then, because, seriously? I mean, everyone knew about him. And besides, he’d been this…complete asshole, before.”

“To you?”

“Not me, specifically. That was more Monty and the others. But, you know, there he was, king of the jocks, with his jock minions.” Tyler pulled up a stool and sat down. “I mean, nothing went down with them that Bryce didn’t know about.”

Clay nodded. “That’s true.”

“So I figured that he knew about me, about what Monty did. Or that he’d sent him, you know? Because of the field. But it was odd…he, like, actually wanted to _talk_ to me. About it.”

Clay was puzzled. “He wanted to talk?”

“I couldn’t tell him. Not like…not like I told you.” Shyly, Tyler smiled. “I told him the way I told Jessica. With my tape. You know, the one I made just before Spring Fling.” He looked at Clay. “You’re like, the first person I actually told.”

That admission made Clay smile a little. It felt great to know he’d really made a difference to his friend. Hell, it felt good to know he could actually call Tyler Down a _friend_, given how he was to him with the whole Hannah thing. “That’s…that’s cool. I’m glad you felt like you could tell me. I mean, I was kind of a dick to you too, after Hannah…”

“Yeah, you were. But not…not like the others. And I realized, later, that it was because you were pretty messed up about Hannah.” Tyler drummed his fingers against the editing table a little. “You’re kind of a scary guy when you really want something. I mean, _really, really_ want something.”

“I scared you?” Clay was taken aback.

“Holy shit – are you kidding? You had _everyone_ scared shitless. Especially Marcus and Courtney. They couldn’t wait to find a way to shut you up.”

“I know. The weed bust.” Clay grimaced.

“I mean, it was kinda stupid on their part, ‘cause you just found a way to bring everything out into the open. And Justin…you know he wanted to kill you, right? Make it look like suicide?”

Clay’s eyes closed. He ran a hand over his face. “Yeah. Justin told me like, six months ago.”

“Man, talk about someone who’s really changed. I mean, no one would have ever, like, seen you two as brothers back then.” Tyler smiled. “Or that he would be my friend.”

“Yeah, there’s a lot to Justin I don’t think anyone knew. And the more we learn, it’s like the more he can finally be himself, I think.”

“Hey, I never thought about that. Huh.” Tyler stood and began to gather his belongings. “It’s getting late, Clay. Mom’s going to wonder what’s keeping me.”

“Oh, right. But, hey – you said Bryce talked to you about your thing?”

“Yeah, I told you about that.” Tyler shrugged as he slid photos into a manila envelope. “What of it?”

“How was that?”

“Kind of odd. I mean, it was like he was trying to look at it from the victim’s point of view – from my point of view. He realized that he couldn’t confront Monty like he wanted because it would come back onto me. Y’know, because I had to deal with Monty every day. I don’t…it was nice? Being able to talk to someone that just wanted to help? Even if they didn’t know how?”

Clay nodded a little. “Um, thanks, Ty. You’ve helped clear a few things up for me.”

“Glad to help. Now, let’s hurry, before you get invited to dinner. Mom’s making tuna loaf.”

The sound of tuna loaf made Clay want to throw up a little. “Wanna call her, tell her you’re having dinner with us? I think my Dad’s making lasagna, and it’s killer. Justin eats, like, half the pan if we’re not careful.”

Tyler laughed. “Now _that_ I have to see!”

* * *

Wednesday nights at Monet’s were usually slow, and Clay liked to go in for coffee when Justin was working. He could usually score a half-price mint hot chocolate with extra chocolate in it on his brother’s dime as well. This particular Wednesday was Justin’s night off, but he’d planned to meet up with Tony so he could score a copy of tape 14. Just as he came in, he saw his friend seated at one of the half-booths, nursing a strong espresso. “Hey, Tony, thanks,” Clay said, waving at Simon at the counter, who smiled and started his hot chocolate. “Sorry to take you away from the gym.”

“Hey, truth is, I needed a break. Standall and Dempsey are working their asses off so much I swear their sleeping on the benches. Like they gotta prove something.” Tony took a sip of his espresso. “One tape. Which is odd, seeing as usually people come looking for the set.”

“I got, like, copies of the other ones.”

“Well, yeah, but why this one? I mean, you made it. Nearly got your scrawny ass killed for it, too.”

“Yeah, don’t remind me.” There were some nights where Clay dreamt himself back inside the Walker pool house, and could feel every punch and kick Bryce dealt him that fateful night.

“Seriously, why now? You haven’t tortured yourself enough?”

Clay shook his head as Simon brought over his drink. “No charge,” the barista said. “Justin paid for like a month’s worth with his tips. Claims he owes you or something.”

“Oh. Um, thanks.” Simon left, and Tony studied his best friend appraisingly. “What?”

“Do I wanna know?”

“Jesus, how the fuck should I know? It’s free hot chocolate. I’ll take it.”

“You’re not…”

“Not what?”

“Everything okay with you and Ani? Cause I’m telling you, no girl likes to find out she’s being replaced because the guy figured out he likes guys, you know?” A smirk crawled onto Tony’s face, and his mustache twitched playfully.

“Oh, shut the fuck up,” Clay laughed. “No, but seriously, I…kinda got into it with Ani a few days ago.”

_“Jesu Cristo, _what now?” Tony folded his arms against his chest.

“It was just…we were fighting about Bryce.”

“The kid is dead and buried, Clay. I highly doubt he can steal her from you now!”

“No, not that. It’s…she keeps telling me that all I see is the monster he was, and not that he was trying to change. And…and it’s hard, you know? Cause I saw him. Like, all of it. All the shit. I heard the tapes, I saw the effects his shit had on…well, on everybody.”

“Maybe that’s the problem, Clay. You _saw._ You _heard._ Ani…she didn’t.”

“I mean, she only saw Bryce _after_ he’d been tagged as a rapist. She saw him have to deal with the fallout.”

Tony nodded. “And what do you suppose the fallout was, Clay?”

Clay’s eyes narrowed. _God, he’s going into ‘teacher mode.’ Fuck. _“People knew. About what he’d done.”

“But they did. You made sure of that, when you released the tapes.”

“Yeah, and I watched him spin that into me being crazy and jealous!”

Tony shrugged. “You kind of were, Clay.”

“I was…wait, _what?_”

“Do you even remember _half_ the crazy shit you did, because of Hannah? I mean, keying Dempsey’s car? Posting Tyler’s naked photo around? Playing detective so you could find evidence against Bryce? Releasing the tapes online – even the one you made, that you let a kid twice your size beat the everloving _shit_ out of you to get?”

“Okay, I was…I was not in a good place, then.”

“Justin tells me you were actually _seeing_ Hannah that night at Bryce’s house, you know? The one where you went to kill him?” At Clay’s surprised look he added, “Don’t even. Justin told me. Told me to keep an eye on you, just in case. He says you were _hearing_ her, talking to you, like she was standing right there. Which, you know, is pretty fucking incredible for a dead girl.”

“Look, I get it, okay? I…I had some issues then.”

“Then?” Tony shook his head. “Clay, every time someone even _mentions_ the name Bryce Walker, you get this _twitch_ in your jaw that just won’t quit. I mean, the guy is dead, for Christ’s sake!”

“I…I don’t know. It just…it pisses me off, you know? I mean…” Clay sighed, and threw a hand up in frustration. “It just feels like he got off easy, for hurting all those girls, for ruining all those kids’s lives…including yours and mine, by the way.”

“Yes. I know. Believe me, I feel it every single day.” Tony tapped his fingers against his espresso cup. “Mami says hi, by the way. She says to tell your folks thanks for…for looking out for me. And Caleb.”

Clay waved his hand dismissively. “You’re family. That’s what families do.”

Tony smiled. “Back to Bryce. What makes you think he got off easy?” 

“Were you, like, on the same planet I was last spring? Bryce got _three months_ probation and _no_ jail time. Not one day. He raped Jess, and Hannah, and what, nine other girls, or so he claimed? _Three months probation._” Clay scoffed. “Hell, Justin did _six months_ probation and a month in juvie, and that was for not calling the cops on Bryce! Tell me how this is fair?”

Tony shrugged. “Same way you got arrested for killing him, I suppose. Was that fair?”

Clay fell silent. His lips pursed. “No. But at least I could kind of see it.”

“Clay, part of that was that you were a known enemy to Bryce. I mean, his arrest? His being tagged a rapist? Yeah, Jessica reported him, but that was because of _you_, my friend.” He paused. “Anyone ever tell you you’re a scary motherfucker when you wanna see something through?”

“Actually, yes. Just yesterday, in fact.”

“Well, you should be told. A lot. Hell, _I_ was getting scared of you, and you weren’t even coming after me. Some of the shit you pulled, Clay…you had me scared I was gonna find you dead somewhere, or in some hospital in intensive care…you just don’t know when to quit, do you?”

“Can you sit there now and tell me, honestly, that justice was gonna be done for Jess and Hannah, and all those other girls, if I hadn’t done what I had?”

“Honestly? Probably not. But still.” Tony paused for another sip of coffee. “What you _didn’t_ see was how public opinion changed in regards to Bryce. It’s one thing to be a fine, wealthy, upstanding citizen in a small town like ours. It’s another thing entirely when you’re permanently tagged as a criminal.”

“No offense, but no one looks at you any differently.”

“No. But my crime was assault and battery, not rape. As you know, rape is a special kind of fucked up.”

Clay sat straighter as he swallowed this information. “You’re saying there’s levels of criminal?”

“Always has been, Clay. People understand being pissed. They understand being broke. Hell, they even understand making mistakes. Rape…” Tony took a breath, as though to steady himself. “It’s a lot of things. It’s power, mostly. In the most violent, personal of ways. I mean, look at what happened with Hannah, and Jess, and Tyler…”

“I guess that’s the point I can’t understand. I mean, we told Ani that Bryce was a rapist. We all told her. Hell, she heard his tape, the one…you know. And she _still_ seems to think he was, I dunno…just misunderstood, or something!” Clay scowled. 

“Because what she probably saw was how he was reacting to being tagged. Before that, I doubt Bryce suffered any consequences for anything he ever did in his life.” Tony sighed. “It’s a big shock when you find the world suddenly doesn’t love you the way it did before.”

“Love him how? I mean, he got into a better school. Onto the football team. He still had his money, and hell, his mother even tried to pin his death on me!”

Tony shook his head. “One: I heard things coming out of that fancy school of his. Apparently the jocks there didn’t like the idea of having to fraternize with a rapist, and they let him know. Sometimes physically. For sure, he didn’t have a friend to his name.

“And you know this how?”

“You think rich people fix their own cars? Especially those foreign models they like?”

“Point taken.”

Tony drained his cup. “Two: contrary to popular belief, money does not always buy happiness. Bryce might have been rich, but really, you and I are much richer.”

“Because we…?”

“Because we have friends. We have people who care about us. Look at the point your mom made last Thanksgiving.”

Clay remembered. _I’m glad that Clay is here with us, and that he has so many people who care about him. _ “Okay, so we are. Still?”

“Ever been lonely? I mean, really, _really_ lonely? I just bet Bryce never had one person who actually cared about him in his life. Not for _him_, I mean. That’s what I’m getting at – money will buy you things, even people, but there comes a point when people say ‘enough is enough.’ How many friends you think Bryce had, in the end?”

Clay thought on that a moment. “None. Not that I could tell. I mean, people were sad he was dead – look at Justin – but he didn’t really have any friends.”

“Nope.” Tony paused, pulling a little on his shirt sleeve. It was cold for being early spring. “And three: Bryce was forever tagged as a convicted felon. And not just a felon – a rapist. Which we already said was its own kind of special hell.”

Clay sighed. “That, at least, I get.”

“Put it together, and I wouldn’t have wanted to be Bryce Walker in his last days for nothing. I think what Ani was getting at was that even though he might have _wanted_ to change, he was up against a society that couldn’t forget what he’d done and a personality that couldn’t change that much. But I listened to his tape too, and after seeing him listen to Hannah’s tapes, I know there was at least a small part of him that wanted to try.”

“You know that?”

“Bryce Walker wasn’t a crier. I mean, for _anything_, not that I could ever tell. He cried more that Justin does watching a sad movie that night. I’d like to think he finally realized just how fucked up his shit had been, and just what he’d cost everyone around him. It’s one thing to do stupid shit and never pay for it. Bryce was finally having to pay for his shit, and his bill was just too high.”

Clay let the last of the chocolate syrup drain form the bottom of his cup. “Something to think about.”

“Yeah. Hey, you know you’re always welcome at our place.” Tony smiled. “Caleb was just saying he hasn’t seen you in a while.”

A smile broke over a thin face. “I dunno. Are his enchiladas as good as your mom’s? Cause I love those. I miss those. Hey, next time you talk to your family, let them know I said hi?”

“I will, and they are. Come by tomorrow, and we can have those and chat with my folks.”

“Sounds like a date.”

Tony shook his head, but broke into a smile. “Just don’t tell Caleb or Ani about the ‘date’ part and we’re on.”

* * *

“So, what did you learn this week, Clay?” Dr. Ellman asked, pencil poised.

“A lot, actually.”

“Such as?”

“People can change. I mean, if they want to. But they can’t change some parts of themselves. It’s just what makes them who they are.”

“Hmm.” The pencil scratched against the pad of paper. “You know that a facet is a part, right? Of the diamond?”

“I didn’t know that.”

“It is. Jewelers chip off the occluded, flawed pieces of the gemstone so that all we see is the clear, bright spots. Each chip that is taken off creates a facet, or a side to the gemstone.”

“Huh.” Clay twiddled his fingers a little. 

“People have facets, too. Those little pieces of personality that make them, them.”

“I see. So you wanted me to find my facets?”

Dr. Ellman nodded. “What did you find?”

“Well, apparently, I am crazy loyal. And I can be jealous.”

“I see.”

“I will do crazy shit to reach my goals. And I am, apparently a 'scary motherfucker' when I am determined about something.”

The writing paused. “We’ll have to define ‘crazy shit’ and 'scary motherfucker' in a minute. But what else?”

Clay cleared his throat. “My friends have facets too. They are all the things I see, and even some things I don’t.”

“And Bryce Walker?”

The boy sighed. “He had facets too. I guess…I just didn’t want to see them? Or maybe I couldn’t. You know, being crazy jealous and all.”

“You keep using the word ‘crazy’. I’m curious to know what you define that as.”

Clay smiled a small half-smile. “Dr. Ellman, you have to ask yourself: do you _really_ want to know? I mean, I’ve already been arrested on suspicion of murder. I don’t think I can get much crazier than that.”

“Fair point. But tell me, having learned about Bryce’s facets…does it change your opinion about him?”

“Honestly?” Clay replied. “A little. I mean, he was still an asshole. He was a rapist, and he ruined the lives of so many of my friends. He ruined my life, too. But in the end? I think maybe he was just _beginning_ to understand that. And who knows? Maybe he could have changed. At least, the parts he could.”

“And you? Have you changed?”

Clay smiled. “Yes, I have. How, though, is a whole other story…”


End file.
